My life consists of pain at a level I can cope with interspersed with pain that is literally unbearable- right now I've got the latter. My right arm is currently out of action. It HURTS. I've taken my extra painkillers and I can now just about cope as long as I don't move it at all. Seriously not good..!
Anyway, in the days since I last posted there's been quite a bit going on.
I had another really rough weekend last weekend (slept both days nearly all day because I was so rough and exhausted) so am hoping this weekend will be an improvement!
I've had a busy few days since but have been coping relatively well (..ish), although I'm getting a lot of pain in my hands and arms from challenging my weakness.
I had a doctors appointment on Wednesday which was thought-provoking. I was there about my swollen abdomen which he examined again and I'm now on some regular meds for it (more tablets.. yayy...) and thankfully they do seem to be helping. I'm having a blood test next week to rule out a possible cause, but it seems fairly certain that it won't be that. He was far more concerned about my weakness and everything else that's been worsening recently though- he's writing to my consultant to ask whether everything is consistent with CFS or whether I ought to be seen by neurology for an assessment. He said he doesn't suspect anything at all life-threatening but it just doesn't seem normal, and I totally agree. I'm sick of the prodding and poking but I'm not totally convinced my diagnosis is right at the moment so I'm happy to go ahead with some more tests if they think they're warranted, in the hope that they'll either show something up that more is known about, or it will give me more confidence in my CFS diagnosis at least. I trust the consultant I see for my CFS and I wouldn't want to lose him and end up with someone I didn't get on with or who wasn't so supportive, but I just need to be reassured that there isn't something that has been missed that could be under treatment. It's just trying to find the balance between over-testing and under-testing, which is a lot trickier than it sounds.
I'm in a ridiculous amount of pain. I'm exhausted. I'm weak. I'm on way more meds than I'd like to be on. But I'm still going....! :) and it's the weekend :)
Maybe I'm pushing myself too hard, maybe I'm expecting too much from my body, but how can anybody be sure of their capabilities if they don't push boundaries and test their limits..?